ABC News Explores Why Successful Black Women are Still Single

ABC News decided to cover a fairly hot topic in the black community: why successful African American women are for the most part, unmarried. According to the piece, recent figures reveal that 42% of black women have

 never been married. Overall statistics show that the percentage of black people marrying is higher than it has been since 1970. (In 2008, the number of black women who had never been married was 45%.) But in that regard, the question remains whether these black people are marrying each other. A similar story was released by CNN in July 2008. This article asked the question: "Is Marriage Really for White People?"—prompting many blacks to wonder whether the institution of marriage is something that people of color intentionally overlook. Indeed, it seems that this is an issue that still bewilders relatively successful black women. ABC News invited four single, professional black women from Atlanta, GA to speak about their dating woes. Comedian and author, Steve Harvey also joined the conversation to offer his perspective on the subject. A few theories about this phenomenon were gleaned from the conversation.

Reason #1: Black women outnumber black men.
According to studies, there are approximately 1.8 million more African American women than there are African American men. If those incarcerated or without high school diplomas are omitted from this number, the selection of eligible bachelors drastically decreases. These statistics, in and of themselves, cause a great deal of discouragement amongst black women.

Reason #2: Black women set "high" standards.

Jakene Ashford, one of the ladies featured in ABC's news story admitted that she has lowered her standards where it regards eligible men to date. At 5'9" tall, she once only dated men who were 6'3" or taller. As her options declined, she started giving shorter men a chance. But there are even more standards that many black women have that appear to shorten their selections. Financial stability, spirituality, and physical appeal are only a few of the items on black women's wish lists. And while many men have met certain criteria, others have fallen short. Some ascribe these wishes to general "pickiness." But as another woman in the group points out, white women have these very criteria, but seem to have their expectations fulfilled. Ashford goes on to explain that she's broadened her horizons where dating is concerned. But the results are rarely long-term.

Reason #3: Black women don't enter interracial marriages as quickly as black men.
The topic of interracial dating was broached in the discussion. Again, Jakene Ashford revealed that she had met an attractive Caucasian male at a restaurant. They seemed to "vibe" during the conversation. But he failed to ask her out for a date. Certainly there could have been many reasons why he opted against asking her out. But many African American women have proclaimed to be in similar situations that didn't pan out. Ironically, studies also show that the number of black women marrying outside their race has jumped. But those numbers also reveal that the number of black men marrying white women (or other ethnicities) is nearly double that of black women.

Reason #4: There are still stigmas associated with dating/marrying black women.
Melinda Watson, a 28 year-old woman in the group admitted that there are still social stigmas associated with black women. As a result, while many men (of varying races) may find black women attractive, these taboos still keep them from establishing long-term relationships, ultimately leading to marriage. Others echo that sentiment. In the opinions of some, black women are perceived as more confrontational, more difficult, and less emotionally "yielding" than other races. Of course, this theory is filled with controversy, as many African American women can beg to differ on all points. Nonetheless, society's perpetuation of certain social stigmas often has a lot to do with how the rest of the world perceives them.

Reason #5: Black men have a rotating selection of single, professional women to choose from.

Perhaps the most important point of the discussion was introduced by Chato Waters, a high school counselor (pursing a doctorate in Psychology.) She claims that even when she meets single, professional, eligible black men, she finds that they're not as willing to have an exclusive relationship. That these men have so many attractive, professional women to choose from makes them reluctant to settle down. In short, they're content to continue casual relations, and will "check in" over long periods of time—but decline to commit.

Steve Harvey's Perspective...
Interestingly, Steve Harvey, author of "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", claims that many African American men his age and younger have not been taught the principals of manhood. Thus, he advised the ladies to look to older men as suitable partners. But where this advice is concerned, quite a few ladies observe that even older gentlemen adopt the same ideals as the younger men. Additionally, black women find that even men in this age bracket are either already married, or otherwise uninterested in pursuing a long-term relationship.

That Steve Harvey could be considered a dating expert in the African American community may be questionable to some. But several common theories about the plight of single black women have been tossed around with each passing year. Demographics may change, and attitudes may be redeveloped. But the numbers often tell the same story. In black communities, men appear to have the advantage in finding long-term romance. Successful black women may have the upper hand where other social areas are concerned, but they are still plagued with the notion of finding suitable partners.

SOURCES:

www.abcnews.go.com
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www.mediatakeout.com
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